Blood Ball

The Sex

2008-06-30T11:05:20Z

I love him.

Mama Mia

2007-09-18T04:06:54Z

Nothing incredibly life-altering, but I realized that I'm particular about my pasta. If it's not al dente, I'd rather feed it to the dog. Really.
(She'll eat anything except bananas.)

sinfox @ 2006-05-07T14:12:00

2006-05-07T06:38:01Z

Last Wednesday I caught the latest installment of Mission Impossible with Dar, and couldn't help but notice that the actress playing Ethan Hunt(Tom Cruise)'s girlfriend, bears slight resemblance to Katie Holmes. Who isn't sick of the TomKat hype? Oh, and Maggie Q is muy caliente. Other than that, it was a pretty boring movie.

In other news, we've adopted 2 little monsters from an old lady who is about to undergo a leg operation and will not be able to look after her poor kitties. I'm glad we heard about them in time before her daughter's plan to throw them out on the street was carried out. For those of you who know cats, one is a Calico Exotic Shorthair, and the other a Lilac Point Persian. (And since the names they originally carried were too Chinese for me to pronounce, I call them "Clownface" and "Winkles" respectively.)

I'll try to post pictures soon.

sinfox @ 2006-04-12T11:33:00

2006-04-12T04:30:38Z

Short updates, in random order:

1. I've become pretty darn good at rolling cigarettes, if I may say so myself. Roll-your-own tobacco is considerably cheaper here than a pack of the regular kind, so when I desperately crave nicotine and am low on cash, I turn to roll-ups. Yum yum.

2. Congratulate me. I've moved out of my mother's lair and moved in with my boyfriend. We're beginning to pick up married-couple behaviour. It's cute, really. He's hilarious. Yesterday, we painted a Miro-inspired piece which is to go up on the wall above the bed, our "love art".

3. Dar and I have adopted another baby cat, "Kitty". She enthusiastically follows us around everywhere, sans leash.

Time to go to mother's office with the girls. More updates soon!

sinfox @ 2006-04-05T16:48:00

2006-04-05T08:51:27Z

The beauty of living in this world is, you can always be assured that nothing ever stays exactly the same. But sometimes, changes are scary.

She's Alive!

2006-03-15T10:27:43Z

Hello. Yes, I am not dead yet, unfortunately. It's been a while since I've had access to the internet. Life has been both great and horrible to me since my abrupt Livejournal disappearance, but I assure everybody that I will live to tell the tale. Meanwhile, don't forget about me, I'm still around.

I'll have more to say when I find a proper computer.

sinfox @ 2006-01-08T03:31:00

2006-01-07T19:32:26Z

This means war.
I hate my mother.

sinfox @ 2005-12-19T01:07:00

2005-12-18T17:09:01Z

I'm just a fucked up kid.
And according to Dante, I am bound for the 7th level of Hell.

sinfox @ 2005-12-17T19:51:00

2005-12-17T11:51:30Z

This is gonna hurt.

The Worst Feeling In The World

2005-12-16T22:53:01Z

This is that feeling for me right now, because he means the world to me.

That was hands down the worst taxi ride home I've ever had to take. My mind is still painfully re-living the sudden brush off. Wouldn't you feel awful too if you had absolutely no idea what was going on in a person's head because they refuse to tell you, but you want to help, and you know something is definitely wrong, but they refuse to let you in on it?

I feel so useless. I wish I had said the perfect words, I wish my hugs and kisses were enough, and I wish he spoke instead of killing me slowly with silence and disregard. I wish I could read his mind. If it was something I said or I did, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be hard for him to point out and tell me. So maybe it didn't have anything to do with me at all. Something bigger? Is it that bad? It was agonizing to witness him so troubled while shamelessly isolating himself. He didn't want to talk, so I didn't force him.

The foot-long gap that separated us in the backseat of the cab was brutally cold. All I wanted to do was hug him tight and make everything better again (if only that was as effective in reality as it is in the movies), but I was politely ordered to keep my distance, so I complied. I know better not to make things worse by pushing the limit to his patience. I would have done anything to bridge that gap.

My head is filled with questions and worry. I love him so damn much. I desperately want to fix this. I want to know what's going on and I would kill to see him smile again.

"Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?"

I can't decide whether it's a better idea to wait for him to call me (after he's cooled down), or call him first.

Dying For A Cigarette

2005-12-14T18:19:47Z

Part of this was recycled from an old blog of mine, written around this time last year, which is quite pathetic because it made me realize how recurrent my life is. Just as I thought things were starting to get better, the cheesy background music (song-of-the-moment being the Joey Ramone cover of "What A Wonderful World") comes to an abrupt halt. That of course implies that cheesy background music plays in my head when I'm happy, but that doesn't happen, I swear. I'm not that delusional... yet.
...I think. HAH.

So ANYWAY...

Things have only gotten worse since my last bitching entry. Living here, with her, makes me weep. Literally. I hate that I sound like an overemotional brat, but I can't avoid feeling this miserable when things around me are the way they are. Yes I do blame myself for certain issues, (believe me, if you were here you'd understand) but I refuse to resort to moving out of this country, so I'll fix this somehow. I fucking have to.

I wonder what else can possibly go wrong? Okay, it might be a bad idea to ponder over that.
Shit, too late, I just did. UGH.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I'll post more pictures soon my pretties.

sinfox @ 2005-12-11T07:56:00

2005-12-11T00:05:04Z

I don't know about you, but I sure as hell would get bloody pissed if I spent 5 fucking hours working on something, only to come back and find that my mother deliberately closed the program I was working on without saving my file. That is exactly what just happened.

I may not be a certified artist, but when I make something, and I actually like it, it's not cool to destroy it.

You will feel my wrath...

sinfox @ 2005-12-08T09:46:00

2005-12-08T01:56:55Z

A verse from The Crow:

"...sometimes, if love proves real
And two people are meant to be together
Nothing can keep them apart."

or if you don't believe in destiny and all that hoohaa, make it:

"...sometimes, if love proves real
And two people want to be together
Nothing can keep them apart."

Sweet. Those lines were used in the Choir Of Agony song "Where Love Lies Dead"-- I love it. James Agony (the man behind the music) is good, and I don't care if you disagree.

My Sister's Gonna Love This

2005-11-24T23:05:06Z

Sleeplessness = boredom = surfing the internet = stumbling upon priceless pictures that may be totally random to some people, but so significant to yourself.

Ma chère soeur, apparently you're not the only one that's been bitten by the spider lovebug. Check out your competition:

You love it.
That website is so cute.

As most of you may already know, my little sister, aka Cat, is Spidey's biggest fan. No really, they sleep together. ...They're that tight. MEOW. (-;

Oh, and I'm going to a prom thing tonight but I have absolutely no idea what to wear.

sinfox @ 2005-08-21T00:26:00

2005-08-21T17:05:11Z

From vintagebetty and theglasses:

¨List five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog. Then tag five people to see what they're listening to.¨

(In no particular order)
1.Nothing Better by The Postal Service
2.Candleburn by Dishwalla
3.Sex and Violence by The Sex Pistols
4.Life in Mono by Portishead
5.Pure Morning by Placebo

I tag: ask_dr_loveless, sidewalk_stu, beachbumbea, summer_romance, and damnedman.

WHY

2005-07-21T19:49:24Z

One thing I've learned about my life is that good things never last as long as I expect them to. Evil things chase me everywhere no matter how fast I try to run. We all get tired at some point I suppose, and eventually stop running. Rest and recharge. But shit happens, and lately, I seem to be recieving truckloads of it.
My insane sleeping habits make me lose track of the hours, but it's not like I'm keeping time anyway.
I've come to hate time.
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm all smiles at school.
If only they knew.
Life is complicated.
School is one thing, my life beyond it is another.
Speaking of school, it's about time I finish my work for Visual Studies class.

I'll try to make the next post less vague, and more uplifting. If I get lucky.
But you get the picture, right?

sinfox @ 2005-07-14T01:27:00

2005-07-13T17:38:54Z

Before I post about school (which started last week), I would like to say that Singapore has been keeping me quite content with a lot of instances worth pondering over. After a brief bout of separation anxiety, I'm suddenly flung into a series of fucked, funny, and nice moments... Some of which make me question how someone can have moments like those and still want to die? What reason do we really need to die? How fucked up does life need to get in order to trigger such a thought? And last but not least, does love really conquer all as the infamous saying goes?
Pardon me for being rather vague, it's personal.

sinfox @ 2005-07-13T02:48:00

2005-07-12T18:40:19Z

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How scary are you?

5 Guys and a Girl

2005-07-01T21:16:55Z

Today...
...a total stranger bought me and my friends a can of beer each.
...I watched a fashion show at the Thai Embassy. I wasn´t impressed.
...I drank alcohol for the first time in a week.
...I met up with Koko.
...I found myself hanging out with Baker, Shawn, Justin, Nick and Max.

We sat around for 3 hours sharing supernatural experiences, mostly Shawn´s. He has a third eye. His stories were surreal, but you can´t not believe him. He wasn´t making up any of it. Tonight we became the grungy version of the ¨Midnight Society¨. Like those bored kids in ¨Are You Afraid of the Dark?¨, minus the magical bonfire and lousy script. Please tell me I´m not the only one who used to watch that mundane show.
After the eerie goosebump session, I decided it was time to walk home. I said goodbye to the guys, and I was about 50 meters away when Justin yells, tells me to stop walking, and before long, all five of them were walking with me. We made quite the mob. Shawn, the quiet clairvoyant; Baker, the renegade punk; Max, the friendly punk; Justin, the wealthy and cowardly fashionist-o; Nick, the funny guy; and little old me. I feel terrible that they had to go through all the trouble, but it made the walk home seem a lot shorter.
...Perhaps there is safety in numbers, even when the ´enemy´ is paranormal. Haha. We split up when they decided it was safe enough for me to continue alone. Then I made a stupid, spontaneous decision to take the shortcut. Dark, quiet, and empty neighborhood streets are no fun at 3am in the morning. What the hell was I thinking?!

¨Just because you´re paranoid, doesn´t mean you´re not being followed.¨
Fuck.

People Are People

2005-06-30T20:38:02Z

If you care to look hard enough amidst all the fashion and culture zombies in this minute country, you might find a rare breed of real people who can teach you a new thing or two about life. Singapore is big on commercialism, and most of its population is materialistic and brainless. Thank God for my friends.

Someone asked me if he could kiss me today. I told him, ¨If you have to doubt, then don´t.¨
He didn´t. (Insert sigh of relief here.) I saw that awkward moment as a test of maturity. I could have just run away, but that would be too gradeschool don´t you think? Cooties! Eww.

Speaking of school, I finally start in a few days. I´m excited, but at the same time I don´t want the weekend to end. Too much fun is bad for the intellect, but even play turns to work when forced. Bring it on.

sinfox @ 2005-06-29T01:15:00

2005-06-29T17:18:19Z

Part of a conversation I had with one of my friends on MSN:

guy friend:im half a virgin
ME: ??
ME: i dont get it
guy friend: haha
guy friend: think abt it
guy friend: half a virgin?
ME: ummm
ME: you lost half of your testicles
guy friend: no silly
ME:hahah
guy friend: i made out with a girl in my room and it got wild
ME: uh huh
ME: so she cut your dick in half??
guy friend: hahah

sinfox @ 2005-06-23T15:25:00

2005-06-23T07:23:26Z

I don´t think I´ve spent an entire day at home since I got here. I try to make it a point to be out of the house by 4pm, when the sun is neither too hot, nor too blinding. I hang out with my friend Matt quite a bit. Our deal is, he keeps me company (when needed) around Singapore, and come Christmas, I show him around the Philippines. Fair trade. It´s nice to be in the company of someone who knows what adobo, sinigang and tocino are, and who can understand Tagalog code words when I feel like mocking people. Matt has been like a cool brother to me. He´s half Chinese, half Filipino, and he offers effective protection from a certain creepy rodent man whose foul name I shall not mention. Some of you might know who I´m talking about. Sleazy bastard. Anyone care to recommend a good rat poison? Hurry!

Yesterday Matt got his tongue pierced, and I happily watched the long, sterile needle penetrate his metalvirgin tongue. Afterwards, I made him say the seashell tongue twister ¨she sells seashells by the seashore¨ over and over again. The poor thing looked and sounded like a drooling mongoloid... Haha. Ah well, no pain no gain. I could watch people getting piercings and tattoos done all day. Needles and ink excite me. Rawr. After the piercing, we got his ¨thoozth¨ aka shoes, but he could hardly pronounce anything properly at the time.

¨Excyoosh me shir, how mush for thith thoo?¨ Hee.

For the rest of the night, we bummed with Baker at an outdoor cafe, and Matt ´thucked´ on ice to ease the ´thwelling´.

In a while I´m off to a park/street festival gig to watch locals mosh and enjoy free music. The only drawback is, I know rat man will be there, and, as unfortunate it is that I might actually have to see his ugly face, at least this time I´m protected.
He can´t touch me.

Singapura

2005-06-19T16:35:20Z

Time for an update. I´ve been out everyday since I arrived, taking in the sights and sounds of this little city once again. Among the handful of questionable things I´ve seen, are two bars with queer names:
~~1. Hoegaarden~~ (I later found out that this is a brand of beer. Silly me.)
2. HotDog
...I can only imagine what goes on behind those walls. HA.

I don´t have school for about another 2 weeks, giving me more time to slack and wallow in misery about the sweet nothings I´m missing back home. It´s gonna take me a while to adjust again, but I have my friends here to thank for making it ever so slightly easier. I´ve been drinking for two nights in a row. What a way to commemorate my stay eh? Free drinks are hard to resist. Cheers to a new chapter.
Lastly, I´m getting annoyed that most clothing stores here sell almost identical things. Just thismuch different. How boring. Tell me, how many damn boleros does one really need? Bah.

I´ll have more to say soon.

Happy belated birthday to Margie!
You´re finally legal. Use it wisely. *wink*

(-:0

2005-06-10T14:11:22Z

Hello everyone.
Meet the latest LJ virgin.

Woohoo.
Add me people.

-------
FYI: I drew the squirrel picture thing up there myself, so please don't use it or take it without my permission, assuming of course that someone out there is going to like it.
Respect the labor people.
Merci.